Deaths hand
by Save yourself13
Summary: Ok I know it's been done before but this is Dimitri's point of view when rose got shot by his friend Tasha, how will he react?, what happens when she couldn't see?, you'll have to read to find out, ps all the scenes were rose and Dimitri talk are the same except one part, I changed one line, don't shoot me! No pun intended


_Dpov _

_Everything made sense,except the part were it was one of my closest friends who done it, but all at the same time it all fell together like an awful puzzle, Tasha hated the queen, she had her own ideas about running everything, Christian was dating someone who could be easily controlled because of her good nature and could get on the thrown and last of all, the part that made me sick, my friend loved me so much that she felt desperate enough to try and get my rosa, my one true love executed for murder. _

_Christian looked furious at rose for suggesting what she did and was still trying to prove her wrong, "That's idiotic. If she wanted Lissa to be queen, why make that James guy attack her?" I took a breath then answered knowing in my heart that she was guilty,_

_"Because no one was supposed to die." My voice echoed through the room bouncing back at me, taunting me 'why her' was all that kept buzzing through my head "You didn't expect a guardian to be with her." I wanted to stop but knew I couldn't "James was probably going to fake an attack and run ... enough to generate sympathy and more support for Vasilisa. Which it certainly did-just a little more severely."_

_I saw Tasha's anger melt away into such a deep sadness that it made me want to run and comfort her, she was my friend and I loved her as a friend and nothing more, for the sorrow I caused her I would never forgive myself but I needed to protect my rosa_

_"Dimka, not you too,'"she said._

_Her gaze felt like iron bricks on my shoulders, I could barely breath_

_"And that's why I took the fall," I heard rose murmur softly._

_"Hmm?' I could quite understand what she said but I knew it was about Tasha's love for me because of the look on her face, like a protective but sad expression crossed her features_

_"You can take me into custody" I saw that she was dead serious and the idea of her behind bars again made my blood boil but I stayed silent, I just sat and hoped she had a plan, "But don't you think you've got enough to take her-and Ethan-in too?"_

_Hans's face was unreadable. lifted his eyes from Rose's face and looked to where several guardians were stationed in the audience, ready for any action. He gave a curt nod. "Take Lady Ozera. And Moore. We'll question them."_

_Seeing as Tasha was seated amidst other people, there was a bit of fear and panic when four guardians moved toward her. They avoided injuring other audience members as much as possible, but there was still plenty of pushing and shoving. What came as a total surprise was how fiercely Tasha fought back. She was trained, and I knew she was strong she knew how to fight, Not in the same way guardians did but she did good enough to make it hard to get a hold of her. She could kick and punch-and stake queens-and even managed to knock one guardian down._

_She might actually try to fight her way out of here, I realized-though I didn't believe for an instant she could. It was too crowded and chaotic. Guardians were heading toward the fray. Terrified Moroi were trying to get away from the fight. Everybody seemed to be getting in everyone else's way. Suddenly, a loudcrack echoed through the room. A gunshot. Most of the Moroi dropped to the floor, though guardians kept coming. Holding a handgun she must have seized from the guardian she'd knocked over, Tasha grabbed the first Moroi she could with her free hand. So help me, it was Mia Rinaldi. She'd been sitting near Christian. I didn't think Tasha even noticed her hostage choice. "Don't move!' Tasha yelled at the encroaching guardians. The gun was at Mia's head, and I felt my heart stop. How had things escalated to this point? I'd never foreseen this, she was my friend! _

_The guardians froze, less because of her command and more because they were sizing up how to deal with the total threat. Meanwhile, Tasha began to slowly-very slowly-make her way toward the exit, dragging Mia along. Her progress was slow and unwieldy, thanks to all the chairs and people in the way. The delay gave the guardians time to solve this ugly dilemma. They come first. Mia's life-a Moroi life-was on the line. The guardians didn't want Mia killed, but a gun-toting warrior Moroi also couldn't be allowed to go free._

_I quickly flicked my eyes to rose who was staring at Lissa with a panicked look on her face _

_"Tasha, please don't-' WHY WAS LISSA BUTTING IN?! It was obvious that she was trying to compel her, once you had been around her long enough you learned the look but everyone else thought she was just trying to reason with her, she continued to step forward then Mia interrupted by kicking at Tasha, Tasha was frantic, I could see it, she shot at the first thing that moved, which just happened to be the princess. my heart beat one hundred miles an hour and everything went quiet all I could hear was my blood rushing .Then everything stopped at once, all the sound including my blood almost like the world was paused, my rosa was running towards the bullets, I don't remember when I had started but I was running, running faster than I ever had, she was the most important thing to me, without her- NO ROSA WILL BE FINE! I was so close but I heard the bang and I stopped running like my feet had turned to cement, she staggered backwards in to Lissa who was crying her eyes out screaming for someone to help rose but I couldn't move all I could see was rosa_

_- Something about how you're going to lose something..." Rose said trying to remember what my fortune was_

_"'You will lose what you value most, so treasure it while you can.'"I corrected her_

_"Wait. You think I'm going to die? That's why you slept with me?" I was shocked, nothing would happen to my rosa, ever. "No, no, of course not. I did what I did because ... believe me, it wasn't because of that. Regardless of the specifics - or if it's even true - she was right about how easily things can change. We try to do what's right, or rather, what others say is right. But sometimes, when that goes against who we are...you have to choose. Even before the Strigoi attack, as I watched all the problems you were struggling with, I realized how much you meant to me. It changed everything. I was worried about you - so, so worried. You have no idea. And it became useless to try to act like I could ever put any Moroi life above yours. It's not going to happen, no matter how wrong others say it is. And so I decided that's something I have to deal with. Once I made that decision ... there was nothing to hold us back." I paused taking her in, her hair, her beautiful smile, her loving brown eyes, "Well, to hold me back. I'm speaking for myself. I don't mean to act like I know exactly why you did it."_

_"I did it because I love you," She said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. And really, it was._

_I laughed. "You can sum up in one sentence what it takes me a whole speech to get out."_

_"Because it's that simple. I love you, and I don't want to keep pretending like I don't." I felt light like I was finally completely happy_

_"I don't either." I dropped my hand to hers, fingers intwined we began to walk "I don't want any more lies."_

_-"She was right about something else too,' I said after a long slowly turned to face me_

_"What's that?' She asked._

_"That I do still love you.'_

_She looked like she got winded, _

_"Since ... since when?' She asked, it was the most ridiculous thing I had heard in a while_

_"Since ... forever.'it was very obvious "I denied it when I was restored. I had no room for anything in my heart except guilt. I especially felt guilty about you-what I'd done-and I pushed you away. I put up a wall to keep you safe. It worked for a while-until my heart finally started accepting other emotions. And it all came back. Everything I felt for you. It had never left; it was just hidden from me until I was ready. And again ... that alley was the turning point. I looked at you ... saw your goodness, your hope, and your faith. Those are what make you beautiful. So, so beautiful.'_

_"So it wasn't my hair,' she said joking_

_"No,' i said looking at her, she was so beautiful, and she wasn't mine "Your hair was beautiful too. All of you. You were amazing when we first met, and somehow, inexplicably, you've come even farther. You've always been pure, raw energy, and now you control it. You're the most amazing woman I've ever met, and I'm glad to have had that love for you in my life. I regret losing it.' I felt the hole in my heart burn from regret "I would give anything-anything-in the world to go back and change history. _

_-"I don't belong to him,' she said in a low voice coming close, tilting her head to look at me, I felt her love, but it was wrong, but we fit together, and she was with another man,"I don't belong to anyone. I make my own choices.' She made it so difficult, but I would not be that guy, "And you're with Adrian,' I said trying to sound like I wasn't dying inside_

_"But I was meant for you.' My last thought before I kissed her were something rose would have said 'zen master life lessons be damned'_

_And now that all didn't matter, my love was on the floor and I was standing like a statue, I snapped back to reality kneeling beside her, there was red speeding across her shirt, rose was laying there looking pale, staring at her best friend, they were both crying but roses tears were of love and not pain, and that's when I panicked "rose!,rose! Don't you dare leave me, rosa! Its going to be ok, rosa you'll be fine" I ripped off my shirt not caring who saw and put it over her wound to stop the bleeding "rosa!,rosa!, don't you dare leave me!" I felt my eyes begin to cloud over with tears and I was beyond caring she was dying, if I was faster, if I'd jumped in front of her, "lissa!, heal her!, do something!" The tears finally fell "rosa... You can't die, I love you, you can't leave me" she slowly moved her eyes to mine and tried to speak but it only came out as a croak "rosa...rosa shhh sweetheart it's ok your fine, your not going anywhere" I turned and looked at lissa who was shaking, then all of a sudden three guardians grabbed her "LET GO OF ME!" She screamed "Dimitri!" I looked down to rose one more time before she closed her eyes and I saw her love, the love for me and lissa and Rosa's forgiveness, she really had forgiven me for what happened in Russia and now it was to late, I stood up not bothering to wipe my tears "let her heal rose, let her go!" They were shocked at my actions I was supposed to be hard wired to 'they come first' but my rosa was dying "belikov she's going" one of the men said, I begun to swing punches at them but was then grabbed as well, I heard another scream over mine and Lissa's, Adrian was grabbed by guardians so he wouldn't heal rose, "rosa!" I struggled and broke free of multiple hands then ran to my Rosa's side to check for a pulse "rosa!, you can't leave,rose!" I was hysteric, "rosa you can't"I began whispering, I couldn't feel her pulse "rosa, I need you, rose please, please, rose I love you, you can't leave" i began speaking Russian without knowing "net, net, Rosa, pozhaluysta, ne sdelat' eto mne nuzhno vas("no,no,rosa please don't do this i need you") I sagged and five guardians grabbed me, I didn't fight it I just let them walk me to the cells, I could still hear the screams in my head, still see Rosa's eyes staring in to my soul," I loved her " I whispered but they didn't hear me_

_I eventually got to a cell "guardian belikov" one of the men stayed behind and addressed me but I didn't look at him I just began pacing "I'm sorry- I wish- I'm sorry about rose-Marie I know you were close" I stopped pacing for a moment anger flashing through me, she wasn't suppose to die first, I should have done something, it was my fault, if I'd gone with Tasha (the bitch who killed my love) my rosa would be alive, I would have put up with the depression and would have pretended to love Tasha so she was safe, if I'd calmed Tasha down a bit better, if I'd stayed out of Rosa's life she would be alive, if I'd ran faster, I told rose to train running, we did for months, if I'd got better, ran with her more often, I might have been fast enough to catch the bullet...if, I turned and bashed my fist in to the brick wall then fell to my knees "belikov?" A single tear fell from my eye "I loved her more than anything, we planned to be together, to find a way, Tasha was my friend" I whispered it so small he barely heard me "I'll go get bandages" he left me on my knees, I looked at my hand through cloudy eyes, I had punched the wall so hard my bone was showing yet I couldn't feel it the only pain I felt was for my rosa._

_I spent the next two days staring at one spot in the room remembering rose, the times she called Russia an article wasteland, the time I had told her about my moroi father and how she laughed, god that laugh,when I had told her not to cut her hair and when the memories made me feel like I might cry I got up and did push ups, then sit-ups exercising until exhaustion hit, they had gave up on giving me food and water, the only thing I did was have a shower to wash off Rose's blood then I started my pattern of thinking and exercising again, I hadn't seen any guardians in a long while and when I heard foot steeps they surprised me, I kept my head down, I was sitting in the corner, my knees close to my chest "Dimitri?" I heard Lissa's small voice, I slowly raised my head to meet her eyes "Dimitri what happened, you look like crap, what happened to your hand?" I raised my hand and pointed to the crack in the wall "did rose ever tell you anything?" I mumbled out "she didn't have to, I knew, I blocked it from her but I knew" I smiled a sad smile "Dimitri... Have they told you anything?" I shook my head then put it on my knees "Dimitri she's not dead" I shoot up to my feet and ran to the bars "what!?" She let out a small laugh "I found out yesterday she's alive" I felt tears slip down my face yet again but this time I was happy so so happy, my rosa the only one "bad ass" enough to survive death twice "how I checked her pulse?" I was smiling at lissa and she was smiling back, our rose was alive "they said she died for like two minutes and they brought her back" I lifted my head to face the ceiling and sighed then said "ya yeye ochen' lyublyu, slava bogu STE zhiv("i love her so much, thank god shes alive")" lissa dangled keys in front of me "do you want to see her?" Was that even a question YES "more than anything, but how-" she cut me off "she's in the infirmary she's still unconscious and I have to come to get you in, then I'll let you stay with her alone" the door flew open but I stayed for a moment "why- please take no offence - would they listen to you?" She smiled shyly grabbed my hand "lissa-" I tried to tell her to save the spirit but she butted in "I'm the new queen" I would have continued- but rosa " come on" I ran out side then stopped realising she couldn't run like rose and I could "Dimitri?!" She was very out of breath "how. Can. You. Run. So. Fast?" She was panting out the words "practice, lissa I really need to get to her, I just need to see her, I've spent the last two days thinking she was dead" she smiled a little than started jumping with joy "lissa?-" "give me a piggy back ride, you could run us both there, it would be faster that way, and really fun!" I rolled my eyes, in any other case I would have asked her if she was ok with me carrying her, if she felt comfortable doing but i didn't I just crouched and let her climb on "princess- I mean your majesty it's going to be a bumpy ride so hold on" her grip tightened "Dimitri I'm telling you now, I know how good you are for rose and I also know in the past three months I have came to believe that you are a friend, so I'm not scared of you Dimitri, so I'm warning you if you call me anything royal I will find a ladder, climb it then slap your face" I started to laugh I couldn't help it "come on stop laughing at me and run" and so I did, fast and gentle slides so not to hurt lissa, I could hear her slightly laughing, I ran past groups of people who stared at us like we were crazy the best reaction was from Christian though, his mouth hung open "lissa?!" I kept running though "this is so fun!" I heard her shout then she leaned close to me "how many girls can say they got to ride there boyfriends guardian with out being dirty" I stopped causing me to ALMOST drop her "Dimitri what-" "what do you mean Christians guardian?"I butted in She smiled "well i gave back his title as lord and he needs a guardian and I just thought" I didn't do it very often but I let my emotions show, I pulled her in to a big hug "thank you lissa you are a true friend I will never be able to begin to thank you" she hushed me "let's finish the ride and then there will be no need for thank you's, you and rose are going to be together, your going to be guardians and who ever has a problem with it can come talk to me" I pulled her on my back again heading for the infirmary._

_We walked strait in and I saw her, the sight made me want to cry, the idea that she was alive was amazing but the idea of her hurt like this was torture, I walked over and placed a kiss on her forehead "rosa, thank god" I breathed she had I v needles in her arms and a giant bandage I could see through her night gown, "if I was faster- if I could have-" lissa stood beside "Dimitri there was nothing you could do, but I really liked the idea of what you did to that guardian" I was completely confused and she saw it "you don't even know why you were in jail? Bloody hell they didn't tell you anything, you broke one the arm of one of the guys holding me back" I sighed and ran a hand through my hair "is he ok?" She looked amused "he got a pay raise and is getting paid through sick leave, he's going to see his girlfriend, he's very happy" I looked back to rose "do you know how she's going?" I knew the doctors would tell me nothing unless I used force "they said because after the surgery me and Adrian gave her small shots of spirit she can go home, or at least your and roses new home" my mouth dropped involuntarily then I quickly shut it, I knew she saw "I got you and rose a really big room in royal housing, she can come home this afternoon and she can sleep in a much more comfortable bed, all you need to do is get her stuff for me I have some weird meeting thing" I nodded and she passed me the keys "stay for a little while but don't forget roses stuff" she left with a smile while I sat on a chair opposite her just sitting there rubbing circles into her hand with my thumb, nothing, I repeat nothing is ever going to hurt my rosa again as long as I'm breathing._

_I went to roses room and grabbed all of her cloths, her hair straightener and curler, her make up bag, her lap top, the shoes that would fit in a box, that girl had so many stilettos and high tops she could start up her own shop, I decided to grab the few high tops I had seen her in and VERY nice pair I knew would look amazing on her, and finally I grabbed her pictures, she had a few from kindergarten with lissa, and some on holiday with the dragomire's I picked one up and something slipped out, it was a small piece of paper, I unfolded it to see it was a picture of me, I was sitting in the gym reading my western, she must have taken it when I wasn't looking, but her little secret was the same as mine, one time while we were practicing and I told her to pose, she made a joke about models and I pulled out my phone taking pictures of her posing, we laughed at them and she made me delete them in front of her, I did to all except one, she was standing with her arms crossed over chest, her hair was up but starting to fall out at the front, she was smiling her cocky smile at me and I loved that picture. I put her photo of me back were it was and decided it was her little secret. When I was done I had done about seven trips across court so I quickly jumped in my new shower, changed and went back to the infirmary were Lissa and Christian waited, Christian held out his hand and I shook it "guardian belikov I'm happy to hear you will guard me" I included my head "the pleasure is all mine, honestly" I stopped seeing the doctors trying to lift rose off the bed, I walked over and picked her up with one swift action and put her on the carrier "thank you guardian belikov" I inclined my head to them than put a kiss to my Rosas head "would you like anymore assistance?" He shook his head and they both pushed rose out _

_"how long?" Christian blurted out, I was completely caught off guard "how long what?" He sighed in annoyance "how long have you been with rose?" Lissa had gone with rose and the doctor to show him the way so I was all alone with him "that's hard to pin point" I said ignoring the incredulous look he was giving me "ok um... When was your first kiss then?I know it's personal but I'm just trying to get my head around this" I understood but it still felt weird telling him I kissed an underage student I think he figured out why I wouldn't tell "look Dimitri I won't judge you or rose ok I just want to know, rose and me fight but she's like a sister" I reluctantly nodded "when victor figured out my feelings for rose and her feelings for me he gave her a lust charm to distract us while Lissa got kidnapped" I saw him shudder from the memory "It could only work if both of us felt... It worked until I figured it out" I put my head down "you didn't..." "No, I figured it out but... Rose found out I was falling for her and I found out she felt the same, once that happened we tried to... We tried to stay away from each other, months I tried to do the right thing and each moment with her was torture" I looked up to see Christians sad face "and eventually I ...my walls were down, when rose lost it, when she took the anger from lissa, she terrified me, she was talking about killing but eventually she snapped out of it and said how much she needed me and I gave up, I decided to get reassigned to someone else so we could be together when she turned eighteen then I turned Strigoi and I pretty sure you can figure the rest out" I gave him a sad smile "thank you Dimitri, I know... I know that you love rose I can see it and if anyone tries to say anything" he smiled and clicked his fingers causing a spark I shook my head in amusement "so lord ozara?" He frowned and crossed his arms "call me anything royal your Burnt toast" I let out a small laugh "what?" Christian looked confused "you and lissa are perfect together, it's been a good day, threatened to be slapped and burnt" he laughed and we walked off to go meet lissa and rose._

_I had slept on the lounge that night, well sort of, I could get much sleep because I kept having night mares about Tasha _

_I was sitting at a table somewhere in a cafe, we were at court, I was alone reading my western when I felt soft lips on my neck "rose?" She smiled on my neck "sorry to interrupt comrade I can have my food take away so I don't distract you from your book" I pulled my hand back to her face "you don't have to be near me to distract me rosa but it's better when your here doing it" she walked around me and sat on my lap, she was wearing a tight, very tight white shirt that clung to her body, a pair of grey tights, a black skirt, a pair of ankle books and she had her hair up the way I liked it "muck better" she traced her fingers down my cheek " you know I love you right?" I smiled "yes and I love you just the same if not more, do you know how good you look?" She smiled her man eater smile at me "really I hadn't noticed" I bit my lip and traced circles along her back " do you know how lucky I am?" I asked looking into her deep brown orbs "about half as lucky as me" I smiled and kissed her passionately, one hand behind her head in her hair and the other wrapping tight around her waist while she had her arms wrapped around my neck "DIMKA! YOU BITCH HES MINE!" Before I could react I head a bang the a cry, I looked down to see my rosa, her breaths hitching and her white shirt scarlet "ROSE!" I screamed and she started to mumble "comrade, I forgive you, I need to know that you forgive yourself" tears rolled down my face on to hers "rosa no, we'll discus this's later you'll be fine" she shook her head "no comrade I won't but you will be I need to know you forgive yourself, I need that Dimitri" I shook my head "I can't live without you rosa" my head leaned on hers "please forgive yourself, I don't care what happened, it wasn't you, this is comrade and I love you" her eyes started to drift close "ROSA!" I sat up, cold sweat rolling down my face, I got up and nearly ran to Rose's side, the comfort of her being there made everything better but the words still rang in my head "forgive yourself" I started to pace around the room when I heard the bed move, my rosa was waking up_

_"Sleeping Beauty awakens.'i said making sure to give her space as the doctor told me_

_I saw her smile she was so beautiful "Are you my nurse?' I walked over to the bed looking down at her smiling, i was so happy but I had to try and sound brave for her, she started to get up she I pushed her back down "No, no, you need to lie down.' She still looked exhausted but no mater what she looked like she was always beautiful_

_"Then come closer,' she said making my smile grow "I want to see you.' I thought about how the doctor said to give her space then Rosa's voice poped in to my head 'screw it', I kicked off my shoes and hopped on the bed facing rose on my side._

_"Is this better?' I asked. "Much.'_

_I then unknowingly begun to play with roses hair and face "How are you?' I asked so happy to see her smiling again_

_"Hungry.' She replied making me laugh a bit, I moved my hand to the lower part of her back like a half embrace _

_ "Of course you are. I think they've only managed to get broth into you so far. Well, that and IV fluids early on. You're probably in sugar withdrawal.' I knew what she wanted _

_-fries_

_-burger_

_-pizza_

_-donut _

_-chocolate brownie_

_ I saw her cringe at the idea of the needles, she could handle tattoos but when ever she saw a needle she freaked _

_"How long have I been out?_

_"A few days.' I answered not adding what I wanted to which was ( FELT LIKE YEARS!)_

_"A few days ...' She shivered, I knew she wasn't cold but I needed to do something for her, to comfort her so I pulled the blanket up _

_. "I shouldn't be alive," She whispered. If only she knew she had died again "Oh Lord. Lissa healed me, didn't she?" That's what I expected her to say, the alternative was much more un believable _

_"No, she didn't heal you."_

_"No?" She frowned trying to figure it out "Then ... Adrian? He'd never ... after how I treated him ... no. He couldn't have ..."_

_"What, you think he'd let you die?" I didn't hate the guy I knew he loved rose, that didn't mean I liked his tongue down her throat either, that was my job_

_"No matter how he feels ...'I paused, god I hated this topic "Well, he wouldn't have let you die. He wanted to heal you. But he didn't either."_

_"Then who? Sonya?"_

_"No one,' I said simply . "Well, you, I suppose."_

_"I ... what?" She was completely confused_

_"People can heal without magic now and then, Rose." I tried to sound calm "And your wounds ... they were bad. No one thought you'd survive. You went into surgery, and then we all just waited."_

_"But why ...". "Why didn't Adrian or Lissa heal me?" Because they were dragged off screaming, because everyone left you with a minimum chance of surviving, because I was dragged of and could help them so they could heal you_

_"Oh, they wanted to, believe me. But in the aftermath, in the chaos ... the Court went under lockdown. They were both taken away and put under heavy protection before they could act. No one would let them near you, not when they still thought you might be a murderer. They had to be certain about Tasha first, even though her own actions were pretty damning." She was thinking hard, confused, she was so used to spirit it must have been strange "Is Tasha ... still alive?"_

_My face fell, I loved my friend how could she do that? "Yes. They caught her right after she shot you-before anyone else got hurt. She's detained, and more evidence has been coming in."_

_"Calling her out was one of the hardest things I've ever done," She said. "Fighting Strigoi was easier than that." I knew she felt guilty, she knew I was friends with Tasha _

_"I know. It was hard for me to see, hard for me to believe." When I thought of the sweet girl who was kind to everyone the room brightened a little but now, after what she did to my rosa, the one person that I loved with all of my self, my heart, and soul that changed, she made her choices, "But she made her choices, and all the charges against you have been dropped. You're a free woman now. More than that. A hero. Abe's bragging that it's all his doing." She smiled again making mine appear to_

_ "Of course he is. I'll probably get a bill from him soon." I laughed and I wanted to stay like this forever, just the two of us, sweet and unguarded. Well-maybe not exactly this. I would have loved rose healthy "So what now?" She asked._

_"I'm not sure." I placed my cheek on her forehead . "I'm just so glad ... so glad you're alive. I've been so close to losing you so many times. When I saw you on the floor, and there was so much commotion and confusion ... I felt so helpless. I realised you were right. We waste our lives with guilt and self-loathing. When you looked at me there at the end ... I saw it. You did love me." The memory stung my heart but at the same time helped me remember how much I needed her _

_"You doubted?" She sounded a little hurt but she meant it jokingly I could tell _

_"No. I mean, I knew then that you didn't just love me. I realised you really had forgiven me." 'Forgive yourself'_

_"There was nothing to forgive, not really." She had told me but until that moment I had dent realised she wasn't lying "I've always believed there was." I pulled back and looked at her. "And that's what was holding me back. No matter what you said, I just couldn't believe it ... couldn't believe you would forgive all the things I did to you in Siberia and after Lissa healed me. I thought you were deluding yourself."_

_"Well. It wouldn't be the first time I've done that. But no, this time I wasn't."_

_"I know, and with that revelation ... in that split second that I knew you forgave me and that I really had your love, I was finally able to forgive myself too. All those burdens, those ties to the past ... they went away. It was like ..."_

_"Being free? Flying?" She knew me so well it scared me sometimes_

_"Yes. Except ... it came too late. This sounds crazy, but while I was looking down at you, having all these thoughts coming together in my head, it was like ... like I could see death's hand reaching for you. And there was nothing I could do. I was powerless. I couldn't help." I felt like breaking down again, but I wouldn't, not with her here, I trusted her with my feelings but I had to be brave and give her strength "You did," she started at me "The last things I saw before blacking out were you and Lissa." She continued "I don't know how I survived getting shot, how I beat the odds ... but I'm pretty sure your love-both of you-gave me the strength to fight through. I had to get back to you guys. God only knows what trouble you'd get into without me." I had no words so instead I leaned down and kissed her, We kissed, lightly at first, and the sweetness of the moment destroyed any sadness I had had felt before, The intensity had just barely picked up when i pulled away._

_"Hey, what gives?" She asked._

_"You're still recovering," i chastised even though I really wanted to continue. "You might think you're back to normal, but you aren't."_

_"This is normal for me. And you know, I thought with all this freedom and self- discovery and expression of our love stuff that we could finally stop with the whole Zen master wisdom and practical advice crap." That made me right out grin,"Roza, that's not going to happen. Take it or leave it."_

_She pressed a kiss to my lips. "If it means getting you, I'll take it." I wanted to kiss her again and hold her in my arms but she was still healing "Dimitri ... for real, what happens to us?"_

_"Life," I said smiling, 3.2.1 get ready for a surprise "It goes on. We go on. We're guardians. We protect and maybe change our world."_

_"No pressure," She remarked. "But what's the "we' and "guardians' part? I was pretty sure we were out of that career path"_

_"Mmm." I cupped her face in between my hands wanting to see her reaction "Along with our pardons, we received our guardian status again."_

_"Even you? They believe you're not a Strigoi?" She exclaimed._

_I nodded.i didn't understand why but I was guessing they realised I wasn't Strigoi when I had my melt down, showing that I had emotion_

_"Huh. Even if I got my name cleared, my ideal future was that we'd get filing jobs near each other."_

_I moved closer to tell her the rest "It gets better: you're Lissa's guardian."_

_"What?" She was so shocked "That's impossible. They'd never ..."_

_"They did. She'll have others, so they probably figured it was okay to let you hang around if someone else could keep you in line," i teased._

_"You're not ..." She paused but I knew what she was going to say, that made the secret all that much better "You're not one of her guardians too, are you?"_

_"No, I have a different assignment."_

_"Oh." WAIT FOR IT! _

_"I'm Christian's guardian."_

_This time she flung up into a sitting position that would have hurt "But that's ... that's practically the same thing!" I sat up with her, I was enjoying every second of this "A little. But they won't be together every moment, especially with her going to Lehigh. He's not going ... but they'll keep coming back to each other. And when they do, so will we. It's a good mix. Besides ..." I grew serious again. "I think you've proved to everyone that you're willing to put her life first."_

_She shook her head "Yeah, but no one was shooting at you. Only her." It was the same old question, if I love you I won't jump in front of her "You followed when I jumped in front of Lissa, didn't you? Who were you going for? Me or her?"_

_I knew it was wrong but I ran for rose, I saw she'd gone and I panicked I would have ran for lissa to, if I could save both of them I would and I wouldn't choose between them, but the one thought on my mind was my rosa_

_"It's hard to explain rosa, I started to run because I had to protect the princess, then I noticed you were gone and... And I don't know I would never let anything happen to you ok, I love you, and I know it sounds weird but, I was running for both of you"_

_She sighed. "This isn't going to be easy."_

_"It never is," i said, pulling rose into my arms. She leaned against my chest and closed her eyes. No, it wouldn't be easy, but it would be worth it. As long as we were together, it would be worth it._

_We sat like that for a long time, until a discrete knock at the half-open door broke us apart. Lissa stood in the doorway._

_"Sorry," she said, her face shining with joy when she saw rose awake, "Should have put a sock on the door. Didn't realize things were getting hot and heavy."_

_"No avoiding it," why was she saying those things, she clasped my hand "Things are always hot with him around."_

_She knew what I was like around others and I think she was enjoying her self way to much She saw my face and laughed then kissed my cheek._

_"Oh, this is going to be fun," She said. "Now that everything's out in the open." I thought about "out and the open" then looked to lissa_

_"Yeah,' i said. "I got a pretty "fun' look from your father the other day." I remember it was like a lion hunting it's prey but it had like a glistening blood hunger no pun intended, I kissed the top of roses head and gave her a small smile "I should go and let you two talk."_

_"Will you be back?" She asked as I reached the door I paused and smiled at my rosa "Of course." Then I left the girls feeling on top of the world _

Hope you liked, I know it was long but I liked writing it, I love Dimitri and rose so much, I think I'm a little insane but everyone worth while is, if there is anything you wanted to tell me about, help me be a better writer go a head, and if not just tell me your favourite part

love forever -save yourself13


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